That may sound cynical, but social media has allowed for non-famous women dating musicians to develop their own followings and platforms, and subsequently make their own money and determine their careers.”Īs the iconic fictional rockstar girlfriend Penny Lane says in Almost Famous, “We are not groupies. “In the age of social media, a high-profile relationship of any kind, and the followers that come with it, can be a starting point to a lucrative career. “I don’t think aspiring to this fantasy can be written off as totally disempowering,” says Biz Sherbert, Culture Editor at The Digital Fairy. They’re also icons in their own right, with lucrative careers separate from the men they’ve dated. It’s also unfair and misogynistic to only view women who date rockstars as passive accessories to their partners. But imitate it in your love life at your own peril. It’s dramatic and extravagant, a refreshing counterpoint to celebs who like to keep their private lives private. The couple’s emphasis on the darkness of their romance might come across as cringe, but there has always been a cultural fascination with celebrity couples that seem publicly and intoxicatingly in love. But you only have to look at Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly to see it in reality today. The rockstar girlfriend aesthetic romanticises a fatalistic “I would die if you left me” kind of love. And if you read almost any rock biography about a 20 th-century male musician, you’ll find out how they really treated the women in their lives. Kate Moss and Pete Doherty’s tumultuous on-again-off-again relationship ended with her setting fire to his childhood teddy bear and him calling her a “nasty old rag” in an interview with The Daily Mirror. Many of the high-profile relationships the trend idolises were toxic. The music industry’s excessive hedonism has been well-documented ( Kill Your Friends, anyone?) and the archetypal rockstar girlfriend lifestyle is rarely sustainable. On top of that, the aesthetic usually promotes being super thin and a ‘cigarette for breakfast’ lifestyle, which is pretty triggering for a lot of people.” “It’s super heteronormative, typically glorifying white, cis and straight relationships. “In some ways, this trend is more problematic than the indie sleaze and Tumblr aesthetics,” says Jane Macfarlane, art director at creative agency and internet and youth culture specialists The Digital Fairy. In fact, studies show that seeing yourself through the male gaze can lead to self-objectification and a narrow definition of desirability, both of which can have a negative impact on self-esteem. “When we live by the male gaze, we stop living authentically and start living performatively in a way that doesn’t honour our true selves,” says eating disorder specialist Ruth Micallef. The male gaze is so pervasive that it seeps into how women see themselves and other women. “Women don’t need to be reduced to the men in their lives.” “The name of the aesthetic needs to go,” says trend forecaster and writer Mandy Lee, who specialises in naming trends on TikTok. In the rockstar girlfriend universe, men create, make music and perform, while beautiful women become accessories for them to show off to the world. Women watch themselves being looked at,” writes John Berger in Ways of Seeing. Today, influencers like Devon Lee Carlson and Suki Waterhouse embody the effortlessly cool look.īut whose fantasy is the rockstar girlfriend? While many female TikTok users are proliferating the trend, its name defines women through their relationship with men. In the 1960s, OG rockstar girlfriends Anita Pallenberg and Pattie Boyd dated members of the Rolling Stones and the Beatles, while also having successful careers of their own. The rockstar girlfriend has existed for as long as the modern rockstar. But of course, the aesthetic itself isn’t new. Many predicted this post-lockdown return to excess and hedonism, even if it sometimes only exists as a fantasy. Musician adjacent female celebs and influencers like Alexa Chung, Kate Moss and Camille Rowe dressed in fur coats, platforms and morning-after makeup pose with cocktails and roses in videos that rack up thousands of likes.Īn extension of indie sleaze and the Tumblr girl aesthetic, the rockstar girlfriend is yet another 2022 trend that glorifies a 24/7 party lifestyle. The hashtag has amassed more than a million views, as creators try to manifest the jet set, party girl lifestyle for themselves through aspirational montages set to opening riffs from AM-era Arctic Monkeys. Introducing the rockstar girlfriend, the latest aesthetic to whip TikTok into a frenzy. Silk slips, cigarettes and electric guitars… who is she?
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